Living The Spoon Theory

When living with a chronic illness like POTS, it is incredibly difficult to explain your symptoms and how they make you feel. And I'm sure it's even harder for family and friends to understand. You may have a good, symptom free day followed by a series of bad symptom full days, and often there's no rhyme or reason as to when these days may occur. You may be able to go to work one day and not be able to get out of bed the next. You may have to cancel plans at the last minute because you barely have the energy to get up and go to the bathroom and feed the dogs, much less get dressed and be social. 

I'm sure this is incredibly difficult for loved ones to understand because I know how hard it is to live life on the other end as the patient. Sometimes I don't even understand how I could have accomplished so much one day and can't manage to get anything done the next, and I know from experience, this can cause problems in relationships.

As an English major, I should be able to explain how and why I feel the way I do, but I just can't put it into words. As ineloquent as it may sound, "I feel like crap" or whatever expletive you may choose to use just doesn't cover it! However, I found another blogger, Christine Miserandino, who also suffers for a chronic illness that did an excellent job of explaining it.

Althought she has Lupus instead of POTS, I must say Christine is dead on in her description of living with a chronic illness. And if you haven't already read it, I now introduce you to The Spoon Theory...

After reading this, I wanted to share it with everyone I know. I wanted to email it to every family member and friend. I wanted to put a copy in all of my coworkers' mailboxes. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. But then I came to my senses! 

I share my HyperPOTS diagnosis only with those people that have to know. This includes my parents, certain family members, my closest friends, my boss, and a select few coworkers who thought I was mad at them every time I turned ruddy drunk red. So, I shared The Spoon Theory with my mother and two of my closest friends. Momma responded with tears, and both of my friends said that they can't imagine what it's like to feel this way and live alone.

Please understand, I didn't share The Spoon Theory with them to make them sad or to make them pity me. I shared it with them to open a line of communication using a metaphor we both understood, and it did just that. 

When I'm having a bad day and have to cancel plans, I'm out of spoons. When I have something big coming up, and I'm conserving energy, I'm hoarding spoons. I know it's silly, but we all understand it, and it's also great not to have to go into detail when others are around.

So, if you're new to The Spoon Theory, you might want to consider sharing it with the people that are important to you. It's been a blessing for me, and I hope it will help in your relationships too.